Nov/Dec 2017 (full of emotions)
I had my first centralized training in dragon boat team at near end of November. It was quite intense and fun. Waking up early in the morning at 5am to train till 9am and have another session at 4pm till 6pm. It was quite a tiring week and we all are preparing ourselves for the upcoming local competition and international competition.
Everything seems alright...well...not actually...I would say I mess up some parts of my commitment at other places. A bad conflict happen between me and D (This is just a random letter to replace his name), it started when I mess up my commitment and my friend is very angry with my commitment issue. We went into a room to talk privately and he started to scold and shout at me. Deep down in mind I know that I am the one who is wrong but I feel very sad because of hearing the words that is spoken from him. It was hurtful and I couldn't believe he said that to me. You might be asking why am I sad when people scold me...well..to be honest, if a normal friend(s) scold...I actually won't really feel anything but when someone who you think is(treated as) a close friend..the feeling is totally different.
After that conflict, it took us around 1 month to resolve our conflict. It wasn't as easy as I expected. I was very emotional especially when people mentioned his name. I would be angry and say bad things about him which is a very bad example (kids please don't be like this, it is not right to say bad things about others). Sometimes, I realize I didn't manage my emotions well but I just couldn't help to feel sad and angry about it. Besides that, I'm not the only one feeling those emotion, even he also being emotional than he has ever before (maybe he has been emotional before I know him but I am not sure...is just a wild guess haha). Is just that he is more stable (pretend to be) and always play it cool (if you know what I mean).
There are times where I took the initiation to try to resolve it but I still fail because of my emotions. Sometimes we both even pretend that we are alright in front of some of my friends (This is the part where I don't understand how we do it, we never plan any of this but we were able to pretend that we are alright). At time goes by some of my friends start to notice there is something different about it. My best friend (I would name him here as V), I talk about the problem that I am currently facing when we are having lunch and he told me that I have change in a significant way which is not in a good way. V reminded me that people around me start to notice that I acting like an asshole especially when people mention D in the conversation and V gave me some advice and also telling that I am wrong which is true. Not just V but I have some friends who also help me and advice me. All of them know that I am going thru a tough time and they also remind me that I should do this and that. Day by day, my emotion and attitude starting to become more stable and better.
I thank God that he gave me such wonderful friends who can support and correct me especially in difficult times. Without them, I think my situation will get even worst then what I can imagine. (Although there was once, D apologize to me thru text which that time I feel that he wasn't sincere enough and I verbally strike him back (it was a very bad move)...) Eventually, I texted D whether we can have a talk and we agree to meet up at the canteen. That day, I think is around 6pm, we were sitting facing each other. We start to talk about the conflict that had happen between and we try to find out what is causing it. In the end, we couldn't find the root that cause the problem but we were able to reconcile.
It wasn't easy.
In the process(before we reconcile), there are many times where I make things even more complicated and at that time, I thought he didn't care about what I am going to do or what I was thinking but I was wrong. I only found out when people around me told me what he was thinking and how D also wanted to make the friendship right again. What a fool I am...to think that I'm the only one who cares...
Eventually, we started to get along again but not like how we used to. Even though, the interaction between us change a lot but I would say it is good thing.
We had lunch after our CNY holiday and I think it was a good starting point for both of us.
Even though, we kinda know each other's weaknesses but somehow I feel that we are starting to be able to bare with each other's difference(or weaknesses haha).
P.S: This is just a part of what had happen in Nov/Dec 2017.
There are times where I took the initiation to try to resolve it but I still fail because of my emotions. Sometimes we both even pretend that we are alright in front of some of my friends (This is the part where I don't understand how we do it, we never plan any of this but we were able to pretend that we are alright). At time goes by some of my friends start to notice there is something different about it. My best friend (I would name him here as V), I talk about the problem that I am currently facing when we are having lunch and he told me that I have change in a significant way which is not in a good way. V reminded me that people around me start to notice that I acting like an asshole especially when people mention D in the conversation and V gave me some advice and also telling that I am wrong which is true. Not just V but I have some friends who also help me and advice me. All of them know that I am going thru a tough time and they also remind me that I should do this and that. Day by day, my emotion and attitude starting to become more stable and better.
I thank God that he gave me such wonderful friends who can support and correct me especially in difficult times. Without them, I think my situation will get even worst then what I can imagine. (Although there was once, D apologize to me thru text which that time I feel that he wasn't sincere enough and I verbally strike him back (it was a very bad move)...) Eventually, I texted D whether we can have a talk and we agree to meet up at the canteen. That day, I think is around 6pm, we were sitting facing each other. We start to talk about the conflict that had happen between and we try to find out what is causing it. In the end, we couldn't find the root that cause the problem but we were able to reconcile.
It wasn't easy.
In the process(before we reconcile), there are many times where I make things even more complicated and at that time, I thought he didn't care about what I am going to do or what I was thinking but I was wrong. I only found out when people around me told me what he was thinking and how D also wanted to make the friendship right again. What a fool I am...to think that I'm the only one who cares...
Eventually, we started to get along again but not like how we used to. Even though, the interaction between us change a lot but I would say it is good thing.
We had lunch after our CNY holiday and I think it was a good starting point for both of us.
Even though, we kinda know each other's weaknesses but somehow I feel that we are starting to be able to bare with each other's difference(or weaknesses haha).
P.S: This is just a part of what had happen in Nov/Dec 2017.
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