The Life of Someone

Recently I just got to know that my parents are sick and was COVID positive. They only got themselves tested when I am already back. Why am I frustrated and angry? Is not because I need to take care of them. I was furious because they did not do their part as they SHOULD HAVE BEEN. To be honest, I don't mind you guys being complacent. You don't want to wear mask or sanitize your hand. I don't care. But the moment you felt sick and you did not do your self test. That's the worst that a person can do. Seriously?! If you know you are sick, please do self test to make sure that you are COVID negative la. Is it that hard? Have you ever thought how would others feel if they got infected because of YOU?! Let me list down what are the effects you are bringing: Their health deteriorate They have to worry whether they will be affecting others who were close contact with them They have to cancel all their plans When my younger brother was the next person to fall sick. I told him ...

Recently, when I was going back home after playing badminton. Some memories during my time at university suddenly flash thru. Remembering there was a time when I changed about 4 cliques in 5 semesters. Remembering there was a time when being in the dragon boat community felt much better than being in Christian Fellowship (CF). Recalling there was a time I wondered between 2 churches after I left the church I grew up in and struggled to settle down. Why did it happen? What was the similarity? What was I looking for? After pondering for a moment, it is just a simple answer. I was finding a sense of belonging. I find it ironic that I did not realize why I did it. Those actions seem so natural. Yet I never question myself. Now, I know the answer. Finding a sense of belonging led me to where I am right now. Why do I long for a sense of belonging? Maybe it is because of my past experience. The past experience that sometimes haunts me. When I was 12, a young boy was just about to take th...

  When I decided to shift careers, everything began. Identifying what I want to achieve as I venture into programming. I first believed this journey would focus simply on my desire to switch careers. God, however, has different plans for me.        When the journey began, I also spent some time briefly joining an online tech community. In several of the online gatherings, I met a variety of individuals. Some individuals have only recently begun learning programming, those who are interested in doing so, those who are switching careers, etc. During the first few meetings, God prompted me to befriend one of the participants in the online tech community for who knows what purpose or reasons. Sean is his name. I fought with the prompting for around a week after it occurred as I could not make sense of it.  "Why was that a thought I struggled with?"        First of all, I have no idea who he is. He appears to be living in Selangor/KL. The onl...

The Problem: Recently I noticed that I have another personal problem. On many occasions, I don't know how I should react or use too much to think about how I should respond. How did I notice this? I realized this when I started moving to PJ and working in KL. The sudden change in dynamic (increase in social interaction and getting to know new friends) kinda throw me off a little due to my lack of social interaction for the past 6 months. In the Past: Back then, when I was in university, this wasn't a big issue. Maybe because I'm used to constantly interacting with people due to being active in clubs and societies. The assumption: Now that I think about it. The first assumption that comes to mind is my transition to a new role/job. Before I started working as a front-end web developer. I was working as a mechanical engineer. My day-to-day work involves interacting with clients, contractors, and suppliers. So, having to interact with new parties was very common. However, when...

I have always been a timid person. On the outside, I may look like a courageous person who would dare to take the risk and try new things. However, if you take a closer look inside. I am afraid to show my vulnerability and my weakness. Afraid to show those bad things that I'm going thru. Afraid people would view me differently after knowing my weaknesses. This leads me to constantly hide my past and my thoughts.      I would always try to avoid giving too much information about myself, especially my past. It always feels a little safer knowing that people do not know the other side of me. At first, I thought I would be able to hide it maybe forever or only reveal it to individuals who are close to my heart.      However, God has other plans for me. Last year, I started to get to know a new friend and his group of friends. When we were getting to know each other and had some conversations. In the beginning, I was trying not to reveal too much info regarding ...

It's been a while since the last time I wrote my blog. Recently I have been quite busy. Sometimes with work but mainly is because I'm currently trying to find a new job. You might be thinking. Why the heck are you job hunting when you just started your new role? The main reason for leaving is because the place that I am working at is not stable.     The sense of uncertainty causes me to consider taking the next logical step (to find a new job and a stable career). Since I am going to do it soon. So, might as well just do it now. Plus, the longing of wanting to move to KL is getting stronger. It fuels my motivation. However, my anxiety keeps on creeping into my mind causing me to overthink.      Two weeks ago, my CG leader and some members came to Malacca to visit me. I was surprised just by the fact that they came to see me. We had a good time chatting and hanging out. The next day, my mind: "f**k, I want to go KL so badly. I want to get to meet up with my ...