The Voice: "Stop hiding"

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I have always been a timid person. On the outside, I may look like a courageous person who would dare to take the risk and try new things. However, if you take a closer look inside. I am afraid to show my vulnerability and my weakness. Afraid to show those bad things that I'm going thru. Afraid people would view me differently after knowing my weaknesses. This leads me to constantly hide my past and my thoughts.

    I would always try to avoid giving too much information about myself, especially my past. It always feels a little safer knowing that people do not know the other side of me. At first, I thought I would be able to hide it maybe forever or only reveal it to individuals who are close to my heart.

    However, God has other plans for me. Last year, I started to get to know a new friend and his group of friends. When we were getting to know each other and had some conversations. In the beginning, I was trying not to reveal too much info regarding my thought process and feelings. Then, a voice came to me saying: "Don't hide, stop hiding."

    Initially, the voice was quite soft. Even though it was a soft voice, it was more than enough to cause me not to be able to ignore it. Whenever I had a conversation with that new friend or with his group of friends. I couldn't help to reveal what I was going thru and my past. Usually, I would always have a bit of mental prep reminding myself not to disclose certain matters.

    It felt like God telling me: "Stop hiding and reveal yourself. Don't be afraid to reveal who you are." The fact that I'm still afraid reminds me that I haven't fully overcome my past fear. Perhaps right now, God is guiding me to overcome it. I pray that God would reveal His purpose through this journey. Learning to open up myself. Knowing that being vulnerable is not a weakness. A reminder that I truly truly need God.

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