The Life of Someone

Sometimes I choose to keep it to myself... Sometimes I don't find it necessary to say it out because I already know the reasons There are times the situation makes things hard to decide And is undeniable to have the thoughts of I have been training for so long...in the end I became the drummer or reserve I feel that is normal coz I also have this thoughts I know is very hard Some people may feel that I am being too understanding about the things that are going on But I feel that being understand and completely trusting is not easy I trust because I know is for the best of the team Even though I can only motivate as a drummer or just watching at the shore I will always keep my mental up and support my team Always anticipate the things that might occur Sometimes when is within one of your estimations, you may find a bit easier to accept it I guess but I might be wrong as well Everyone thinks differently, everyone function different, everyone has their opinions but all in...

Things has been different recently... Now, when I think about who I was before, I was kinda surprise with what I am currently doing. I am proud but also in the same time not so proud of what I am doing now... Feeling of having the tendency of falling in this stage... I crave to see brothers and sisters in Christ...to talk about what is going on in my mind...my life...my struggles... These few weeks, I can see how different the way NC live compare to us... The picture is bigger now and how much different should we be making as Christians... But I know I am not the only one struggling Having the tendency to conform to the world where we should not Peer pressure...social influence...feeling of wanting to be accept...etc All of these may cause you and me to fall But always remember that you are not the only one fighting God is near, God is here, God is everywhere, He knows what we are currently facing, Pray, Seek, and Talk to Him! A prayer that is according to His will, A si...

Note to myself: - Be mentally and physically prepared for it. - Time to speed things up (at least 2 times or more faster) - Less or no procrastination - Keep the faith I have in Him not matter the situation is bad or good - Try to spend time with family and friends God, I uphold everything unto you. Amen.

And is 14 more days before I fly to Bali...Man...time flies and competition is coming sooner than I thought... Feeling excited but also nervous in the same time...Although this time, I played a different role in the team but I am still worry (Hopefully everything goes smoothly on the day of competition and also the whole trip in Bali). The only things that I need to prepare are luggage, money and things that are super important. First time traveling to another country to compete. I would say it is a dream come true and is gonna be one my greatest perk in my uni life. Some part of me still find it hard to believe that I would get the chance to compete in an international competition. (Plus having a jersey with my own name and country flag on it and singlet with my country flag on it too). (Lets go back to the first week of centralize training - journey to Bali race) I would actually put it into a few stage which kinda sums up my feeling in that 2 months of training and also the w...

Is has been a month since I started my internship on March and so far....things have go as I had hope for...the things I have been doing right now are not so engineering related except reading and understand the CAD drawing but other than that...non of it is engineering which kinda makes me worry... If this continues...i might fail my internship because of doing non-engineering stuffs...everyday I keep having the thoughts of "I AM SO SCREWED IF THIS CONTINUES" and "IT GONNA BE OKAY (which is not...LOL)". This is very stressful and tiring. Some part of me is thankful that I still have my workout training sessions. At least there is something to distract me for awhile. Everything appears smooth on the surface but on the inside, it is not. It like the meme where someone looks fine on the outside but dying on the inside. And the worse part is....that is not the only thing I am worry of... The other part of brain is thinking whether I should lessen my commitme...

I had my first centralized training in dragon boat team at near end of November. It was quite intense and fun. Waking up early in the morning at 5am to train till 9am and have another session at 4pm till 6pm. It was quite a tiring week and we all are preparing ourselves for the upcoming local competition and international competition.  Everything seems alright...well...not actually...I would say I mess up some parts of my commitment at other places. A bad conflict happen between me and D (This is just a random letter to replace his name), it started when I mess up my commitment and my friend is very angry with my commitment issue. We went into a room to talk privately and he started to scold and shout at me. Deep down in mind I know that I am the one who is wrong but I feel very sad because of hearing the words that is spoken from him. It was hurtful and I couldn't believe he said that to me. You might be asking why am I sad when people scold me...well..to be honest, if a norm...