The Life of Someone

Not sure why but I felt that I need to left some notes here. Something that can remind the future me what needs to be done. Work should not be my everything. Always remember to spend more time with friends and family. To love God with all my strength, with all my hear and with all my soul. Always remember what God has done for me and give thanks to Him. Learning to love others is always challenging. There are no easy ways but there is always a loving way. Learn to talk less and listen more. Sometimes it helps to reduce conflicts. Always learn to understand others from a different perspective. I might not get them at first and it doesn't hurt to take a bit more time to think it through. Conflict does not solve any problems. You and I both know we learned the hard way. Spend some time for yourself. Sometimes it helps to prevent you from burning out. When in doubt, trust God more. Learn to stay connected with people that you care. It doesn't take that much time to send a text and ...

Last Friday, me and my friends have the opportunity to travel to KL. Vic came to my place to pick me up. We departed from Melaka to KL right after work. Now that I think about it. I would say it has been about almost two years since my last travel before the pandemic.    Before the trip, I sort of imagined how it would be like to meet up with my university CF friends, meet up with Sean, and how the entire flow would look like, etc. This reminds me of how I had taken physical gatherings for granted. Now every physical gathering just seems so precious.     When we arrived at KL, we went to  LI Restaurant for dinner. I think it is a western restaurant. The service was good and the food was not bad though a little pricey. I kinda like the atmosphere. Not too crowded and not too noisy. After our dinner, we went to a bubble milk tea shop to meet up with our friends for a chit-chat session. I stayed at Vic's place for the night as our check-in for the homestay is ...

What's on my mind? There are some things that I'm looking forward to. Not sure how I should describe my feeling. One thing that I do know is that I can't wait for it to take place. Here is a list of the main events that I'm looking forward to. Getting to meet a friend from KL in person Meeting the CG members that I recently got to know Moving to KL Besides that, there are also some other events that I'm looking forward to. But I don't think they will take place soon. As those things require more time and are kinda unpredictable. Reaching stability in my current job Settle down in a church and CG Finding a girlfriend Deep down, I desire all of it can occur as soon as possible. However, I know God is in control and, He has His plan for me. I need to continue to trust Him and believe He knows what is best for me. Sometimes the wait can be a bit long, especially for an impatient potato like me. It seems I still ...

Before making the decision A week before handing in my resignation letter, I got a call from an acquaintance telling me that they would offer me a job as a *secret*. Before that, it started off when he messaged me asking whether am I available for a short call. At first, I didn't know why he asked. But some part of me was able to tell why he wanted to call. The thoughts got my heart racing as I didn't expect his call at all. After the call, I informed him that I needed some time to think about it. I was kinda excited and also scared at the same time. I told myself if I'm going to take this step. It is gonna be another jump into the unknown. However, some part of me is eager to take this chance. After work, I consulted with my parents during dinner time. They were really supportive about it. A few days later, I informed him that I'm interested to take up the offer. Gone thru the ...

Have you ever wonder what does it really means by " let it flow naturally "? Back when I was still studying in university, I always thought that just let things be means letting it flow naturally. Without interfering with it too much and let the time/environment do its work. Here I am again, thinking the same question. But this time, I don't agree with the way I used to define " let it flow naturally ". It doesn't seem right. The second answer that I thought of recently is to do whatever you can with your capability. If I notice there is something beyond my control, then I will just leave it be. People usually like to say "try your best and God will do the rest". I do kinda agree with this saying. However, I still feel there is a minor dissatisfaction inside of me. Maybe is the ego in me that wants to force things to happen the way I want it to be. Let's just say that when there is something I want, I will try my very best to obtain it. Even it...

There are a few times where I accidentally text/call the wrong number because I have a friend and a colleague who has the same Sir Name. When I notice it, usually I will quickly apologize to the friend of mine and told him I accidentally called the wrong number.     However, on last Tuesday, I accidentally called his number again but I thought I manage to hang up before manage to call thru. Turns out I was wrong for this round 😂. My friend called me yesterday and we had a short conversion greeting each other and catching up with one another. It feels great to be honest. Never thought creating missed call would have such benefit.     The mental state of the people is at all time low due to this pandemic. People miss being together with their friends. Meeting them physically. Enjoying their presence. Having fun with them. and etc. People yearn to go back to the normal life that we once had. It seems there is no way to go back to the normal life that we once ...

I know it has been quite a while. But I suddenly felt that is time to pen this down after reading Ecclesiastes 3:1~15. Those Words reminded me of what I have been going thru recently.   A Season of Wandering Aimlessly   This was the time when I was working during my 1st year in the company. It was the year where the outbreak of the pandemic began. The time where lockdown was uncommon and new to us,  2020 . During my 1st year of working, I didn't put much thought into my future. People would usually think questions such as "Where should I go after 2 years?", "When should I get a girlfriend?", "How much salary should I earn to achieve my goal/dreams?", "Do I like my job?", "When should I buy a house?", etc. Those questions rarely cross my mind. I did my job like how a normal employee would do and perform my task as instructed by my superior. If someone were to ask me, "What do I want to achieve in my work?". My answer is sim...

After graduating from high school, Z spent his time serving in a Christian ministry for about two months. It was supposed to be three months thing but Z took a break in between. At first, his initial thought was to serve for about a month because Z never planned to serve at all. During the decision-making process, Z kinda bargains with God...? In his mind, Z was like "God, I will only serve for one month and that's it. Nothing more nothing less." That's what Z initially thought la. Serving in the ministry was not an easy task and sometimes it can be quite mentally challenging especially when it comes to certain areas of work. The 18-year-old Z doesn't want to go thru the struggles and just wanted to stay in his comfort zone like a baby. That's the main reason why Z didn't plan to join in the first place.     However, God has a different plan for Z. When the serving period begins, Z joined with an unwilling heart and the thoughts of hoping this "one mo...

I'm always thinking...what did I inherit from my father? Couldn't figure it out for years until just recently when he spoke about his past working experience (which he had told us for don't know how many times already). At that time he was working as a salesperson at a fax machine manufacturing company. He has no idea how a fax machine works, how to provide a quotation and not to mention how to fix a fax machine. However, a colleague of his approached him and told him that he is willing to help if he needs any advice/guide.    One day, he went to his colleague to ask him how to fix a certain issue that he encountered on the fax machine. Unfortunately, his colleague replied, "This is so easy and you don't even know how to do it? Don't waste my time.". After that incident, he told himself "Just you wait. If you can do it, I can do it too!". He started to read thru the catalog and the manual page by page. Every day trying his best to understand and ...

It pains me to admit it but I'm not good at making friends. Many people see me joined clubs and events. Saying that I have a lot of friends. Unfortunately, many of them are friends but not friends. They are slightly better than an acquaintance but not to the extend of being a real friend. Maybe I should give another term for it. Shallow friend maybe?   Maybe I should elaborate on my flaws. I tend to complain a lot like a lot a lot. People would usually stay away from me when they notice this. Nowadays, I would try to avoid complaining in front of people/friends. I tend to be a little pessimistic. Don't think people would want more negativity in their life haha. I am quite emotional. Don't wanna go into detail about this because...I don't want to say it. I can be insensible sometimes. Gotta admit I'm guilty as charged and need to constantly remind myself to be sensible. I am a noob listener. I'm still learning and I can tell you that this is by far one of the har...

There are times where we would occasionally organize a bonding trip whereby we will go somewhere with the members and have fun. 3 years ago, we all went to Lata Hammer Waterfall for our bonding trip. It was fun until an incident occur...      I think that day we arrive before noon around 10/11 am. The weather was great. Not too sunny to be honest. We gathered at the main entrance and started to make our way to the waterfall. It took us around 1 hour to reach the waterfall. After we reached the campsite, our advisor gave us a short briefing, especially on the safety regulations. There is a rumor saying there is a whirlpool near the deep end of the waterfall. So he warns us not to do any stupid shit. For example, playing near/at the deep end.      We have some fun time at the water, set up the BBQ, eat some food and we all gave a surprise to a friend of ours as it was her birthday. Everything was going great. Some are having fun, some are relaxing and some ar...

Let me tell you a tale of an emotional kid. Let's name him Z. Z started off as a happy kid. When he was little, he doesn't need to worry about anything. He doesn't know what is the meaning of worry either. Everything was great until when some sad incident happen in school when he was 12.     When he was 12, he got transferred to a different class because of slightly better grades. Things did not go well. Many of his classmates doesn't like him. He was really bad at some subjects and sometimes he does not pass up his homework. Moreover, those classmates does not want him to be in their group especially when it comes to internal class competition on certain subjects because he has bad grade for it.      That time Z does not really understand the situation in same time did not know what is sadness is or feels like but deep down he know he has this disturbing feeling in him that he could not understand. Besides that, Z doesn't understand why his classmates...

Is Saturday, the starting of weekend. Woke up around 7.30am and the very first thing I saw is my boss messaged me in the morning telling me to send out the revised documents to the client before 10am. In my mind, I was like "seriously? I thought after yesterday submission, it was suppose to be done..." Well, there is no much time to rant that time. Quickly got up and contact my colleague to discuss and finish it up. Thank God that we were able to send out before 10am. In the same time, I thought was not going to be able to attend my usual morning project meetup with my friends but one of them accidentally forgot about it which is actually a good thing for me. We end up changing our meetup time to 12pm. After finishing up my work, went downstairs to have breakfast. Was it all just a coincidence? Is as if everything was planned since the beginning... Maybe things does happen for a reason, even though it may seem like nothing.

The core essence of friendship is to do something that you don't like it (at the same time it doesn't cause harm to you) Recently my best friend reminded me of I would like say one of the core essence of friendship. Something that I always try to do back then but somehow now I totally forgot about it. Can't believe I forgotten about this. Fortunately, thanks to his reminder, I am now awake. Pray that I would remember this forever.

This afternoon, I was listening to a podcast from a channel called Developer Tea and it was talking about learning process and progress. The one thing that caught my intention is when the host mentioned if a person understand and know what is their intention and their deepest motivation/need then they will know how to shape their goals or make their goal more flexible.   The question now is what is my intention? I don't like my job. (This sounds too general...Why this?) I don't see the future in it. Is so boring, every time is the same thing, similar design, same concept, same processes, same problems.   Am I really doing engineering stuff? Yes, I know there is the design stage but other than that mostly is business and paper works and a lot of it are so tedious and traditional...   No proper filing system...   No proper guidelines...causing workers to not aware of certain issues which lead to major problems that might be impossible to solve (especially if is legal i...

The overthinking and worrying thoughts has been subsiding lately. I am not saying is a bad thing. I would say is good not to get too stress about it as it will greatly affect my progress and my emotions. Even though I am saying it in this manner but some part of me really don't know when be the day for my hard work to pay off occurs.     Deep down I am really excited for it to happen. However, there is a small part of me is worrying whether "Will I be able to do it?", "Will I be able to land a job as web developer?" & etc. Still pondering with those questions in mind. Never would I thought that one day I would be desperate for changes to take place.     The determination/grit rarely surfaces in my life to be honest. The first time it happens is when I was having the dream to join my uni's dragon boat team. At first, I only started to join the trainings was just to take that time to connect with a friend of mine. However, little did I know that I end up ...

Recently I have been thinking how should I sustain/approach this friendship that i am pursing. It feels so distant. It feels so difficult. It feels so out of reach. Am I already starting to lose hope? This should not be it, right? Making friendship to work thru online seems so difficult. Wished that I could meet him in person but sadly the current situation does not permit...How am I gonna make this work? Please tell me, O Lord. What is the best approach for this problem? I wish to know so badly. I don't know what to do...

It has been two years since I graduated...man I missed those days during uni times...It almost felt like it just happened recently. This morning, I suddenly thought of wanting to look back at some of the notes/book that was given me during my batch farewell in CF. As I was reading thru some of the written notes from my friends, I came across a phrase which reminds of what I spoken to some of my friends. To be honest, I totally forgotten that I have spoken about this topic to others before. It was about letting God entering into your life. This is a great reminder to me. When I spoken to others about this, I emphasize on this three words "Let Him in.". All lot of people say they are Christian and so forth so on but did they really "Let Him in." ? A Christian cannot be transformed without letting God entering into their life. If we want God to change us, we need to let Him in. Never would I imagine that I would be reminded by others with what I have spoken. Many times...

 Recently I have starting to made some adjustment on current matters. A lot of mixed thoughts going thru my mind. Feel excited to try something that I may be interested. Something that is new to me but in the same time I feel anxious as don't know what to foresee or expect. The feeling of taking my step into the unknown. Sounds kinda scary don't you think? Currently my goal is to make my transition from an engineer into tech field. The thoughts is really exciting to be honest. Just that don't know things would turn out kinda cause me to overthink a little. Excited (& scared) to get to know new people, learnings and etc. This is even trigger some part of me that I thought I had lost some where and never be found. That feeling or maybe intuition came as a surprise to me. Didn't expect I have this feeling of wanting to connect with people again. I guess God works in ways we could not imagine. Sometimes it may sound crazy 😂 I don't know whether do people feel weird...