I'm...not good at...making friends...haha

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It pains me to admit it but I'm not good at making friends. Many people see me joined clubs and events. Saying that I have a lot of friends. Unfortunately, many of them are friends but not friends. They are slightly better than an acquaintance but not to the extend of being a real friend. Maybe I should give another term for it. Shallow friend maybe?

 

Maybe I should elaborate on my flaws.

I tend to complain a lot like a lot a lot. People would usually stay away from me when they notice this. Nowadays, I would try to avoid complaining in front of people/friends.

I tend to be a little pessimistic. Don't think people would want more negativity in their life haha.

I am quite emotional. Don't wanna go into detail about this because...I don't want to say it.

I can be insensible sometimes. Gotta admit I'm guilty as charged and need to constantly remind myself to be sensible.

I am a noob listener. I'm still learning and I can tell you that this is by far one of the hardest things to learn.


   Most of the time, I'm always the one initiating instead of the other way around. If you were me, you might be thinking. This is so not fair. Why am I always the one that approaches others instead of them approaching me? To be honest, I contemplate it before. In the end, I came to the conclusion where I have to accept things as how it is. Maybe I wasn't good enough. Maybe I don't have an attractive personality. Maybe others think that I am a closed person. Maybe I have a bad personality. Maybe some people are just like that. There are many assumptions in my mind.

 

   What's the point of thinking about it? In the end, it doesn't bring any benefits. I told myself. Many things are not within my control, so I will just play my part. The one who always initiates. I mean most of the time la. There are few friends who would initiate sometimes and I am thankful that they are playing a part in my life. Many times I thought if I keep on being the initiator. Maybe next time the person will return the favor and become an initiator as well. Boy, I was wrong. Is kinda funny when I think about it. Back then, there are times where I should have noticed that some people are not meant to clique with me. However, I as an ignorant dumbass tend to be a little try-hard thinking things might work out somehow.

 

My past mistakes gave me a few key lessons...

  • Not everyone is meant to be your friend. If you encounter real friends in your journey, please cherish them. You will be super glad to have them in your life.
  • Forcing friendship to work will result in a bad ending. Trust me. You wouldn't want to go down this path.
  • Not everyone would understand you or return the favor and that's okay.
  • Avoid having conflicts if possible. A spark might cause the forest to burn up.
  • If you see your friends doing something wrong, tell them but don't scold them like a mother la.
  • Don't argue with friends who are trying to help you especially when it comes to helping you to overcome your weaknesses.
  • Tell them your expectation instead of implying to them, friends are not mind readers you know. (I got this advice from a close friend of mine)
    • but to be honest, I think...this would be one of the hardest things to do. The moment you do this, be prepared to fulfill the expectations of others as well. Friendship is a two-way street. That's how things work.
  • Friendship is a two-way street (same as family, marriage, etc). If you are expecting a one-way street, your only friend is yourself.

 

I am still constant making friends but not as much as I do when I was in university. And again, I kinda suck at this but I'm still learning.

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