Things has been going in a steady pace...I guess...?

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The overthinking and worrying thoughts has been subsiding lately. I am not saying is a bad thing. I would say is good not to get too stress about it as it will greatly affect my progress and my emotions. Even though I am saying it in this manner but some part of me really don't know when be the day for my hard work to pay off occurs.

    Deep down I am really excited for it to happen. However, there is a small part of me is worrying whether "Will I be able to do it?", "Will I be able to land a job as web developer?" & etc. Still pondering with those questions in mind. Never would I thought that one day I would be desperate for changes to take place.

    The determination/grit rarely surfaces in my life to be honest. The first time it happens is when I was having the dream to join my uni's dragon boat team. At first, I only started to join the trainings was just to take that time to connect with a friend of mine. However, little did I know that I end up wanting to join the team and compete in various competition. Ironic isn't it? I totally did not foresee that coming. Our passion take an opposite turn. He end up quitting the team while I end up joining the team. It was great being an athlete while it lasts.
 
Back then, I have never thought that I would have a chance to become an athlete and here am I being a team member for 2 years in the team.

    A little back story about myself. When I was little, I totally suck at sports like literary suck. I quit learning to swim when I was 9 years old as I was fucking scare of deep water (but later on start to learn back at age of 15 and now I like being in the water especially if is deep end), lousy aiming when playing badminton (still suck at it), can't even run continuously for 3 km in merentas desa (however during my uni times thanks to those days of training during uni times, I was able to finish a half-marathon in about 2 hours 15 mins if I'm not mistaken - proud of my personal achievement 😂), can't even outrun any of my friends when playing police & thief and having a twig size body - basically a fucking stick man lmao.

    So yeah. Seeing back how far I have achieved. I appreciate God guiding me throughout my entire journey and gave me those opportunities to achieve my dreams that I thought is impossible and it greatly boost my self-confidence (the younger me would have lower self-esteem 😅). Those journeys was made possible and is all by God's grace.

    Hoping & praying that God would open doors and guide me in my next journey that I am about to embark in near future. Trusting God is never easy. Pray that You would help me to overcome those doubts and trails, O Father in heaven.

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