Covid: Frustration and Anger

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Recently I just got to know that my parents are sick and was COVID positive. They only got themselves tested when I am already back. Why am I frustrated and angry? Is not because I need to take care of them. I was furious because they did not do their part as they SHOULD HAVE BEEN.

To be honest, I don't mind you guys being complacent. You don't want to wear mask or sanitize your hand. I don't care. But the moment you felt sick and you did not do your self test. That's the worst that a person can do. Seriously?! If you know you are sick, please do self test to make sure that you are COVID negative la. Is it that hard? Have you ever thought how would others feel if they got infected because of YOU?!

Let me list down what are the effects you are bringing:

  • Their health deteriorate
  • They have to worry whether they will be affecting others who were close contact with them
  • They have to cancel all their plans

When my younger brother was the next person to fall sick. I told him to get himself tested. Instead of giving an immediate respond to do it. He complained. He said "Do you know I am sick? How can you expect me to do it ?" After hearing that, I am like what the f*** dude. If you are sick, the more you need to get yourself tested. How can you be so selfish and said such a thing.

The more I think about the entire situation, the more frustrated I am. 

This incident truly brings out the worse in me. I have never felt so angry and frustrated for a long time.

However, I am truly thankful that my youngest brother is COVID negative since the beginning of their sickness. He has been very dependable and reliable throughout the entire time. At least, we got to go through it together during the weekend. He is even more calmer than I am. I thank God that I was able to realize that.

And now...I am also COVID positive when I got myself tested this morning. No one in the house would definitely know how both of us felt. This does not mean that I disregard their suffering in their illness. In the end, both side suffered.

Here I thought I can enjoy my long holiday celebrating my birthday with my family, meeting up my course mate, go dating with my girlfriend, playing futsal and hanging out with my friend on a Monday. Unfortunately, it did not happen. For the very first time, I really felt that nothing is going as planned.

For those few days, I pray to God asking Him to enable me to see Him during this time. However, I felt that I wasn't really able to see Him. Maybe is because I am blinded by my frustration and anger. It seems that it is time for me to take a step back to quite down my heart. To find peace in the presence of the Lord.

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