I know is gonna be hard...

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Recently I just got a job, started to work for like two weeks. Things hasn't been easy at all. Some part of me really wonder or I should say. Most of the time I wonder what is God's plan for me?
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Why I continue to stay in melaka? is it because I didn't insists of pursuing jobs in other places. Hmmm...but the inside voice told me to accept the offer. I got to say until now I still have hard time recognizing which one is His voice and not mine. I mean my dream was to get a job with less or without over-time, good pay and good colleagues. It kinda sounds like wishful thinking but seriously who doesn't want this kind of job, right?
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One thing that I always feel that God always answers 'No' is when I ask for a friend who is close to me in class when I was in form 4,5 and in university and now I would really crave for a friend whom I can put close to my heart in my workplace but so far I don't really see a 'Yes'. I always think that how great it would be if I have a friend who is very very close to me...
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Maybe God wants me to see that He is the friend who is the closest to my heart but most of times I failed to acknowledge Him as close friend or maybe I am in denial? I don't know. Maybe I already have the answer and just denying the fact that I crave for a physical presence rather than spiritual presence.
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To be honest, I always crave for closeness, physical touch, the warm feeling, a hug, a listener, a speaker, someone that can stay by your side when you just give a call without needing to worry that the person is busy. There are many times (not all the times la) that I feel that I adjusted to cater for people's need rather than they adjust for my needs. The funny thing is there are times where the more we want it, the more we won't get it. 
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Is really weird but I guess it is what it is...
How does things align or when it will align? I don't know.
Can I trust my new colleagues and try to make friends with them? To be honest, I really afraid of being cheated or betrayed coz we all know the world is a cruel place especially when it comes to working. Can't deny the fact that I will put a thick barrier for my own personal safety.
The leap of faith seems almost impossible...

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