How should I say? or is it What should I say?

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Recently I realize some times I don't know why I unable to act normally with people like how I used. Don't know what to talk about and maybe is just me being lazy to think what to talk about. Sometimes I do think being quite is actually not that bad. Save some trouble from accidentally saying unnecessary matters.

But of course I never ran out of topic when I'm talking to my best friend. I always thought I am the kind of talkative person that can clique with others easily. Hmm...I guess it wasn't as accurate as I thought it would be. One thing that I'm still super surprise is I was able to have a long conversion with a person that I work with from the other company. Although I can't help to be caution sometimes coz the person is from other company but some part of me wants to try to trust him as a friend for once. Let's hope nothing bad happens later on.

Work recently has been quite tiring like usual but starting to feel that I'm getting a hang of it. To be honest, I kinda foresee the workload will increase like crazy after September...ugh...Hoping I can cope with it. Seeing my colleagues stress making me feel stress also. Thank God that at least I still have my close friend around my hometown if not...sometimes I couldn't image how I would survive without proper social life. I wonder if one day all of my close friends are not living near by. Is it a sign to change job? Maybe?

All the possibilities makes me wonder how my life would look like. I always ponder what if I change job and work at other states? How would it look like? What if I change my job to a different kind of nature? Would I be able to adapt? Sometimes the uncertainty makes me stay awake when I want to sleep. 😅 I think that's how our brain works. Think more = stay awake with lesser sleep.

Maybe is time to reflect and plan ahead.
But never forget God is in control. Nothing matters more than this.
Even if you die die want to do this but God says No. That means is a No and He has his reason for doing this.
So yeah. We can plan but only God can make it happen.

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