The Life of Someone

And is 14 more days before I fly to Bali...Man...time flies and competition is coming sooner than I thought... Feeling excited but also nervous in the same time...Although this time, I played a different role in the team but I am still worry (Hopefully everything goes smoothly on the day of competition and also the whole trip in Bali). The only things that I need to prepare are luggage, money and things that are super important. First time traveling to another country to compete. I would say it is a dream come true and is gonna be one my greatest perk in my uni life. Some part of me still find it hard to believe that I would get the chance to compete in an international competition. (Plus having a jersey with my own name and country flag on it and singlet with my country flag on it too). (Lets go back to the first week of centralize training - journey to Bali race) I would actually put it into a few stage which kinda sums up my feeling in that 2 months of training and also the w...

Is has been a month since I started my internship on March and so far....things have go as I had hope for...the things I have been doing right now are not so engineering related except reading and understand the CAD drawing but other than that...non of it is engineering which kinda makes me worry... If this continues...i might fail my internship because of doing non-engineering stuffs...everyday I keep having the thoughts of "I AM SO SCREWED IF THIS CONTINUES" and "IT GONNA BE OKAY (which is not...LOL)". This is very stressful and tiring. Some part of me is thankful that I still have my workout training sessions. At least there is something to distract me for awhile. Everything appears smooth on the surface but on the inside, it is not. It like the meme where someone looks fine on the outside but dying on the inside. And the worse part is....that is not the only thing I am worry of... The other part of brain is thinking whether I should lessen my commitme...

I had my first centralized training in dragon boat team at near end of November. It was quite intense and fun. Waking up early in the morning at 5am to train till 9am and have another session at 4pm till 6pm. It was quite a tiring week and we all are preparing ourselves for the upcoming local competition and international competition.  Everything seems alright...well...not actually...I would say I mess up some parts of my commitment at other places. A bad conflict happen between me and D (This is just a random letter to replace his name), it started when I mess up my commitment and my friend is very angry with my commitment issue. We went into a room to talk privately and he started to scold and shout at me. Deep down in mind I know that I am the one who is wrong but I feel very sad because of hearing the words that is spoken from him. It was hurtful and I couldn't believe he said that to me. You might be asking why am I sad when people scold me...well..to be honest, if a norm...

Recently I went for a bible conference, it is call KVBC bible conference and it was held at Ipoh, Perak. Me and my friends started our journey to Ipoh on last Sunday. It was fun as we are able to explore a small part of Ipoh and eat together. We stayed at a pastor's house overnight before the day of the conference. That night, I was quite nervous when i think about it because I haven't go to camp where it fills with more strangers. My friends told me that everything will be fine and said "maybe the first day we might sit together but who knows when you make new friends, you might even sit with them until the end of the conference."   During the first day of the conference, at first everything appears to be normal like you know the usually camps I went to... which was what i thought...Before they started the 1st session, it is like usual camps where the PIC gives a welcome speech to the people and bla bla (usually stuff except the part where they ask us to fill up...

I made a huge miatake recently...and I felt bad making wrong assumption towards my friends... making things more complicated...tired and exhausted... I dont understand what im doing right now...i dont know how to make things better now...the only that i hope is that all of these complications will end soon...please...two more months before sem break...life goes on...will miss what had happen in the past...especially the times when I spend time with my friends... life didn't become easier but at least it is better somehow...Why am I even writing this? Haha Talking to myself now which I dont know why... Arghh...nevermind.. is time for bed anyway... Good night world

Yesterday, it was my assignment due date. All of us are trying our best to complete assignment and some of my friends even send their's or other group assignment to us. One the documents I received is my good friend's work. Don't get me wrong, I won't plagiarize people's work...just that when I read his assignment, I felt that there are some parts that needs to be change. Well, I didn't tell him because I think he maybe will realize it. That's not my main concern. What I'm concern is that when I read his assignment, I start to judge him and I'm not the only one. My friends also has the same thought as I do. When they start to speak louder, I was kinda afraid...because the person was there as well but I hope that he didn't notice...if the person do notice...well...I feel that the fault should be on me instead of my friends. I felt so... I kept thinking "what if the person knows"..."what happens if the person heard the con...

How I wish this month can end faster... Recently there are more things to do than I usually do, stress is real and time is short. I keep telling myself to study and don't waste  time but in the end, I only manage to study a little...like literally little... Hoping the midterms will be good to me. I need the motivation so badly that sometimes i hope that someone will remind me to do revision. When I come to think about it, sometimes I really hope that I have friends who has similar goals as I do. I should say mt ideal friends but it turns out that I can't really find people in my current circle who can match my 'ideal' characteristics. Well, I can't expect people to meet my expection as everyone has their own personality and attitudes.  Sometimes accepting a person's personality can be a little bit hard...okay..sometimes is really hard but maybe we need some time to get used to it and accept them for who they are. Everyone will still have their expectation...

Hmm....haven't being emo for quite a while now..It seems I have accept and let go of the past even though sometimes I might think about it but it doesn't effect me anymore, not like last time. If you want to know how I did it. I would say is with the help of my friends and also the might one. To the let go of the past, live with the present and hoping for the future to come. I have a one friend who always think that I'm emo when I said something else. Well, maybe is because I used to emo-ing a lot. But now I don't which is a good thing. There was once we talk about friendship. The moment when I said friendship last forever, he started laughing. He think that I was naive. To him, friends come and goes but never stay. He said is the job of a wife instead of friends. He said " When people grow up we leave and friends can be separated. When we meet is great joy but if you mean together as in together forever than I think that won't happen. That's the job o...

Recently my parents talk to me about some serious matters, my reaction will be like this time I'm really in trouble now. After all of us sit down, my father started to scold me. Well, I do deserve this as I should have solve the problems instead of delaying until it became even worse than what I expected...    From that moment, I realize how useless and immature I am. When I think about it, I always judge people for they run from their own problems and here am I doing the same mistake. My parents even said that if your parents doesn't believe you, you are really a lamentable person. True, if parents doesn't even believe their own children, what's the point of living...    But that's not my main point, people change from time to time, even the surrounding changes according to time. If a person scold you with the right reason, it is worth listening even though it might be heartbreaking. My parents care for me so much even I also don't know to repay them. ...

Is been a rough week especially when facing final exams for this semester, I never felt so stressful before....To a point where I feel like I want to give up already. All the efforts have turn from something into nearly nothing. Yesterday, I study till 1 p.m. When my mind reach the point of frustration, I told myself "You know what, there is no point of doing these already... Why don't I just sleep and cool down myself..." After sending my last message of the night to my friend, I straight away go wash up and sleep.     The next day, I feel much better than yesterday night. The feeling was complete opposite of it even though I still feel a bit frustration but I tell myself "You have whatever you can already...just go for exam and do your best" Well, some people might think "Waaa, this person is quite optimistic". Well, I can tell you I'm complete opposite of it unlike one of my friends who always being positive even though people are super str...