The Life of Someone

 Recently I have starting to made some adjustment on current matters. A lot of mixed thoughts going thru my mind. Feel excited to try something that I may be interested. Something that is new to me but in the same time I feel anxious as don't know what to foresee or expect. The feeling of taking my step into the unknown. Sounds kinda scary don't you think? Currently my goal is to make my transition from an engineer into tech field. The thoughts is really exciting to be honest. Just that don't know things would turn out kinda cause me to overthink a little. Excited (& scared) to get to know new people, learnings and etc. This is even trigger some part of me that I thought I had lost some where and never be found. That feeling or maybe intuition came as a surprise to me. Didn't expect I have this feeling of wanting to connect with people again. I guess God works in ways we could not imagine. Sometimes it may sound crazy 😂 I don't know whether do people feel weird...

Time to tune down, rewind, reflect and move on. Is the end of 2020!! What a boring year it has been with the pandemic all over the world... But since now there is vaccines, let's hope for the best and hopefully everything gets better in 2021. I should be thinking of when I should change my job like seriously...I have no passion...no motivation...no mood...to keep on doing this...It needs to CHANGEEEEEE!! Changes must be made fast...need to keep reminding myself to do whatever I can to change/learn😖 God please help me...😭

Being a working adult, I realize typical Asian has the perspective of you need to work OVERTIME and if not you are not doing right. Hmmm...are we suppose to do that? I think no. Why do I say that? Well...If we really think about it. Let's start with this few questions. Does OT bring you any benefits? Some may yes because they get paid for their OT but let me remind you something. When you do this, technically you doing it by sacrificing your health. Is it worth it? We see many people died due to overwork and yet we are still doing it. To be honest, it is better to maintain your health rather then sacrificing your health to earn those money which in return might end up you using the money to cure your health problems. Does your company/client appreciate your effort? Simple. Usually they don't! Believe me. They will just put a smile and bash you even when you already tried your very best to meet those impossible datelines and fail miserably. Sometimes the logic doesn't run in...

Recently I realize some times I don't know why I unable to act normally with people like how I used. Don't know what to talk about and maybe is just me being lazy to think what to talk about. Sometimes I do think being quite is actually not that bad. Save some trouble from accidentally saying unnecessary matters. But of course I never ran out of topic when I'm talking to my best friend. I always thought I am the kind of talkative person that can clique with others easily. Hmm...I guess it wasn't as accurate as I thought it would be. One thing that I'm still super surprise is I was able to have a long conversion with a person that I work with from the other company. Although I can't help to be caution sometimes coz the person is from other company but some part of me wants to try to trust him as a friend for once. Let's hope nothing bad happens later on. Work recently has been quite tiring like usual but starting to feel that I'm getting a hang o...

Recently I just got a job, started to work for like two weeks. Things hasn't been easy at all. Some part of me really wonder or I should say. Most of the time I wonder what is God's plan for me? . . . Why I continue to stay in melaka? is it because I didn't insists of pursuing jobs in other places. Hmmm...but the inside voice told me to accept the offer. I got to say until now I still have hard time recognizing which one is His voice and not mine. I mean my dream was to get a job with less or without over-time, good pay and good colleagues. It kinda sounds like wishful thinking but seriously who doesn't want this kind of job, right? . . . One thing that I always feel that God always answers 'No' is when I ask for a friend who is close to me in class when I was in form 4,5 and in university and now I would really crave for a friend whom I can put close to my heart in my workplace but so far I don't really see a 'Yes'. I always think t...

Where should I start... Ah yes! A few weeks ago, my friend help to plan a birthday party with their parents and technically is a surprise for them (coz is twins haha). There is nothing interesting about the planning phase. So I am gonna skip that part. On that day, we all hide at their home stay before they arrive. The twins were truly surprise when they saw us. Although they know that something is gonna happen but they didn't see it coming. I would say that moment is quite enjoyable especially most of us from the team are present. Before this, I always thought that our bond is solely build on dragon boat and no more. To clarify my statement, I meant if no more dragon boat then most probably we might not see each other anymore but I was wrong. We are better than that. After the party, we went to have a drink at a bar around Kota Laksamana. To be honest, I have never felt drinking was enjoyable before and now here I am enjoying my drink and the company around me. We...

Recently there is a lot of tension building among each other in the community... I was also one of those who make the assumptions and sometimes gossip... After hearing all that has happen, I was angry or I should say furious... Was planning on how to resolve everything in the next meeting...thinking of every questions that could force her to tell the truth and strike her with everything I know... I didn't  realize that I was consume by my anger...keep thinking about it... Every second, minutes, hours, days even when I was about to sleep... One day after hearing some of the explanation...I don't know whether what I have thought in my mind was true or not... It was true that some of my assumption was not based on any evidence... As I was doubting...I suddenly realized that I don't want to do this...I don't want to be responsible of what is gonna happen after the meeting... I just realize I lied to myself... For this one week, I thought I was doing the right thin...

Sometimes I choose to keep it to myself... Sometimes I don't find it necessary to say it out because I already know the reasons There are times the situation makes things hard to decide And is undeniable to have the thoughts of I have been training for so long...in the end I became the drummer or reserve I feel that is normal coz I also have this thoughts I know is very hard Some people may feel that I am being too understanding about the things that are going on But I feel that being understand and completely trusting is not easy I trust because I know is for the best of the team Even though I can only motivate as a drummer or just watching at the shore I will always keep my mental up and support my team Always anticipate the things that might occur Sometimes when is within one of your estimations, you may find a bit easier to accept it I guess but I might be wrong as well Everyone thinks differently, everyone function different, everyone has their opinions but all in...

Things has been different recently... Now, when I think about who I was before, I was kinda surprise with what I am currently doing. I am proud but also in the same time not so proud of what I am doing now... Feeling of having the tendency of falling in this stage... I crave to see brothers and sisters in Christ...to talk about what is going on in my mind...my life...my struggles... These few weeks, I can see how different the way NC live compare to us... The picture is bigger now and how much different should we be making as Christians... But I know I am not the only one struggling Having the tendency to conform to the world where we should not Peer pressure...social influence...feeling of wanting to be accept...etc All of these may cause you and me to fall But always remember that you are not the only one fighting God is near, God is here, God is everywhere, He knows what we are currently facing, Pray, Seek, and Talk to Him! A prayer that is according to His will, A si...

Note to myself: - Be mentally and physically prepared for it. - Time to speed things up (at least 2 times or more faster) - Less or no procrastination - Keep the faith I have in Him not matter the situation is bad or good - Try to spend time with family and friends God, I uphold everything unto you. Amen.