The Life of Someone

Recently I just got a job, started to work for like two weeks. Things hasn't been easy at all. Some part of me really wonder or I should say. Most of the time I wonder what is God's plan for me? . . . Why I continue to stay in melaka? is it because I didn't insists of pursuing jobs in other places. Hmmm...but the inside voice told me to accept the offer. I got to say until now I still have hard time recognizing which one is His voice and not mine. I mean my dream was to get a job with less or without over-time, good pay and good colleagues. It kinda sounds like wishful thinking but seriously who doesn't want this kind of job, right? . . . One thing that I always feel that God always answers 'No' is when I ask for a friend who is close to me in class when I was in form 4,5 and in university and now I would really crave for a friend whom I can put close to my heart in my workplace but so far I don't really see a 'Yes'. I always think t...

Where should I start... Ah yes! A few weeks ago, my friend help to plan a birthday party with their parents and technically is a surprise for them (coz is twins haha). There is nothing interesting about the planning phase. So I am gonna skip that part. On that day, we all hide at their home stay before they arrive. The twins were truly surprise when they saw us. Although they know that something is gonna happen but they didn't see it coming. I would say that moment is quite enjoyable especially most of us from the team are present. Before this, I always thought that our bond is solely build on dragon boat and no more. To clarify my statement, I meant if no more dragon boat then most probably we might not see each other anymore but I was wrong. We are better than that. After the party, we went to have a drink at a bar around Kota Laksamana. To be honest, I have never felt drinking was enjoyable before and now here I am enjoying my drink and the company around me. We...

Recently there is a lot of tension building among each other in the community... I was also one of those who make the assumptions and sometimes gossip... After hearing all that has happen, I was angry or I should say furious... Was planning on how to resolve everything in the next meeting...thinking of every questions that could force her to tell the truth and strike her with everything I know... I didn't  realize that I was consume by my anger...keep thinking about it... Every second, minutes, hours, days even when I was about to sleep... One day after hearing some of the explanation...I don't know whether what I have thought in my mind was true or not... It was true that some of my assumption was not based on any evidence... As I was doubting...I suddenly realized that I don't want to do this...I don't want to be responsible of what is gonna happen after the meeting... I just realize I lied to myself... For this one week, I thought I was doing the right thin...

Sometimes I choose to keep it to myself... Sometimes I don't find it necessary to say it out because I already know the reasons There are times the situation makes things hard to decide And is undeniable to have the thoughts of I have been training for so long...in the end I became the drummer or reserve I feel that is normal coz I also have this thoughts I know is very hard Some people may feel that I am being too understanding about the things that are going on But I feel that being understand and completely trusting is not easy I trust because I know is for the best of the team Even though I can only motivate as a drummer or just watching at the shore I will always keep my mental up and support my team Always anticipate the things that might occur Sometimes when is within one of your estimations, you may find a bit easier to accept it I guess but I might be wrong as well Everyone thinks differently, everyone function different, everyone has their opinions but all in...

Things has been different recently... Now, when I think about who I was before, I was kinda surprise with what I am currently doing. I am proud but also in the same time not so proud of what I am doing now... Feeling of having the tendency of falling in this stage... I crave to see brothers and sisters in Christ...to talk about what is going on in my mind...my life...my struggles... These few weeks, I can see how different the way NC live compare to us... The picture is bigger now and how much different should we be making as Christians... But I know I am not the only one struggling Having the tendency to conform to the world where we should not Peer pressure...social influence...feeling of wanting to be accept...etc All of these may cause you and me to fall But always remember that you are not the only one fighting God is near, God is here, God is everywhere, He knows what we are currently facing, Pray, Seek, and Talk to Him! A prayer that is according to His will, A si...

Note to myself: - Be mentally and physically prepared for it. - Time to speed things up (at least 2 times or more faster) - Less or no procrastination - Keep the faith I have in Him not matter the situation is bad or good - Try to spend time with family and friends God, I uphold everything unto you. Amen.

And is 14 more days before I fly to Bali...Man...time flies and competition is coming sooner than I thought... Feeling excited but also nervous in the same time...Although this time, I played a different role in the team but I am still worry (Hopefully everything goes smoothly on the day of competition and also the whole trip in Bali). The only things that I need to prepare are luggage, money and things that are super important. First time traveling to another country to compete. I would say it is a dream come true and is gonna be one my greatest perk in my uni life. Some part of me still find it hard to believe that I would get the chance to compete in an international competition. (Plus having a jersey with my own name and country flag on it and singlet with my country flag on it too). (Lets go back to the first week of centralize training - journey to Bali race) I would actually put it into a few stage which kinda sums up my feeling in that 2 months of training and also the w...

Is has been a month since I started my internship on March and so far....things have go as I had hope for...the things I have been doing right now are not so engineering related except reading and understand the CAD drawing but other than that...non of it is engineering which kinda makes me worry... If this continues...i might fail my internship because of doing non-engineering stuffs...everyday I keep having the thoughts of "I AM SO SCREWED IF THIS CONTINUES" and "IT GONNA BE OKAY (which is not...LOL)". This is very stressful and tiring. Some part of me is thankful that I still have my workout training sessions. At least there is something to distract me for awhile. Everything appears smooth on the surface but on the inside, it is not. It like the meme where someone looks fine on the outside but dying on the inside. And the worse part is....that is not the only thing I am worry of... The other part of brain is thinking whether I should lessen my commitme...

I had my first centralized training in dragon boat team at near end of November. It was quite intense and fun. Waking up early in the morning at 5am to train till 9am and have another session at 4pm till 6pm. It was quite a tiring week and we all are preparing ourselves for the upcoming local competition and international competition.  Everything seems alright...well...not actually...I would say I mess up some parts of my commitment at other places. A bad conflict happen between me and D (This is just a random letter to replace his name), it started when I mess up my commitment and my friend is very angry with my commitment issue. We went into a room to talk privately and he started to scold and shout at me. Deep down in mind I know that I am the one who is wrong but I feel very sad because of hearing the words that is spoken from him. It was hurtful and I couldn't believe he said that to me. You might be asking why am I sad when people scold me...well..to be honest, if a norm...

Recently I went for a bible conference, it is call KVBC bible conference and it was held at Ipoh, Perak. Me and my friends started our journey to Ipoh on last Sunday. It was fun as we are able to explore a small part of Ipoh and eat together. We stayed at a pastor's house overnight before the day of the conference. That night, I was quite nervous when i think about it because I haven't go to camp where it fills with more strangers. My friends told me that everything will be fine and said "maybe the first day we might sit together but who knows when you make new friends, you might even sit with them until the end of the conference."   During the first day of the conference, at first everything appears to be normal like you know the usually camps I went to... which was what i thought...Before they started the 1st session, it is like usual camps where the PIC gives a welcome speech to the people and bla bla (usually stuff except the part where they ask us to fill up...