The Life of Someone

I have always been a timid person. On the outside, I may look like a courageous person who would dare to take the risk and try new things. However, if you take a closer look inside. I am afraid to show my vulnerability and my weakness. Afraid to show those bad things that I'm going thru. Afraid people would view me differently after knowing my weaknesses. This leads me to constantly hide my past and my thoughts.      I would always try to avoid giving too much information about myself, especially my past. It always feels a little safer knowing that people do not know the other side of me. At first, I thought I would be able to hide it maybe forever or only reveal it to individuals who are close to my heart.      However, God has other plans for me. Last year, I started to get to know a new friend and his group of friends. When we were getting to know each other and had some conversations. In the beginning, I was trying not to reveal too much info regarding ...

It's been a while since the last time I wrote my blog. Recently I have been quite busy. Sometimes with work but mainly is because I'm currently trying to find a new job. You might be thinking. Why the heck are you job hunting when you just started your new role? The main reason for leaving is because the place that I am working at is not stable.     The sense of uncertainty causes me to consider taking the next logical step (to find a new job and a stable career). Since I am going to do it soon. So, might as well just do it now. Plus, the longing of wanting to move to KL is getting stronger. It fuels my motivation. However, my anxiety keeps on creeping into my mind causing me to overthink.      Two weeks ago, my CG leader and some members came to Malacca to visit me. I was surprised just by the fact that they came to see me. We had a good time chatting and hanging out. The next day, my mind: "f**k, I want to go KL so badly. I want to get to meet up with my ...

Not sure why but I felt that I need to left some notes here. Something that can remind the future me what needs to be done. Work should not be my everything. Always remember to spend more time with friends and family. To love God with all my strength, with all my hear and with all my soul. Always remember what God has done for me and give thanks to Him. Learning to love others is always challenging. There are no easy ways but there is always a loving way. Learn to talk less and listen more. Sometimes it helps to reduce conflicts. Always learn to understand others from a different perspective. I might not get them at first and it doesn't hurt to take a bit more time to think it through. Conflict does not solve any problems. You and I both know we learned the hard way. Spend some time for yourself. Sometimes it helps to prevent you from burning out. When in doubt, trust God more. Learn to stay connected with people that you care. It doesn't take that much time to send a text and ...

Last Friday, me and my friends have the opportunity to travel to KL. Vic came to my place to pick me up. We departed from Melaka to KL right after work. Now that I think about it. I would say it has been about almost two years since my last travel before the pandemic.    Before the trip, I sort of imagined how it would be like to meet up with my university CF friends, meet up with Sean, and how the entire flow would look like, etc. This reminds me of how I had taken physical gatherings for granted. Now every physical gathering just seems so precious.     When we arrived at KL, we went to  LI Restaurant for dinner. I think it is a western restaurant. The service was good and the food was not bad though a little pricey. I kinda like the atmosphere. Not too crowded and not too noisy. After our dinner, we went to a bubble milk tea shop to meet up with our friends for a chit-chat session. I stayed at Vic's place for the night as our check-in for the homestay is ...

What's on my mind? There are some things that I'm looking forward to. Not sure how I should describe my feeling. One thing that I do know is that I can't wait for it to take place. Here is a list of the main events that I'm looking forward to. Getting to meet a friend from KL in person Meeting the CG members that I recently got to know Moving to KL Besides that, there are also some other events that I'm looking forward to. But I don't think they will take place soon. As those things require more time and are kinda unpredictable. Reaching stability in my current job Settle down in a church and CG Finding a girlfriend Deep down, I desire all of it can occur as soon as possible. However, I know God is in control and, He has His plan for me. I need to continue to trust Him and believe He knows what is best for me. Sometimes the wait can be a bit long, especially for an impatient potato like me. It seems I still ...

Before making the decision A week before handing in my resignation letter, I got a call from an acquaintance telling me that they would offer me a job as a *secret*. Before that, it started off when he messaged me asking whether am I available for a short call. At first, I didn't know why he asked. But some part of me was able to tell why he wanted to call. The thoughts got my heart racing as I didn't expect his call at all. After the call, I informed him that I needed some time to think about it. I was kinda excited and also scared at the same time. I told myself if I'm going to take this step. It is gonna be another jump into the unknown. However, some part of me is eager to take this chance. After work, I consulted with my parents during dinner time. They were really supportive about it. A few days later, I informed him that I'm interested to take up the offer. Gone thru the ...

Have you ever wonder what does it really means by " let it flow naturally "? Back when I was still studying in university, I always thought that just let things be means letting it flow naturally. Without interfering with it too much and let the time/environment do its work. Here I am again, thinking the same question. But this time, I don't agree with the way I used to define " let it flow naturally ". It doesn't seem right. The second answer that I thought of recently is to do whatever you can with your capability. If I notice there is something beyond my control, then I will just leave it be. People usually like to say "try your best and God will do the rest". I do kinda agree with this saying. However, I still feel there is a minor dissatisfaction inside of me. Maybe is the ego in me that wants to force things to happen the way I want it to be. Let's just say that when there is something I want, I will try my very best to obtain it. Even it...

There are a few times where I accidentally text/call the wrong number because I have a friend and a colleague who has the same Sir Name. When I notice it, usually I will quickly apologize to the friend of mine and told him I accidentally called the wrong number.     However, on last Tuesday, I accidentally called his number again but I thought I manage to hang up before manage to call thru. Turns out I was wrong for this round 😂. My friend called me yesterday and we had a short conversion greeting each other and catching up with one another. It feels great to be honest. Never thought creating missed call would have such benefit.     The mental state of the people is at all time low due to this pandemic. People miss being together with their friends. Meeting them physically. Enjoying their presence. Having fun with them. and etc. People yearn to go back to the normal life that we once had. It seems there is no way to go back to the normal life that we once ...

I know it has been quite a while. But I suddenly felt that is time to pen this down after reading Ecclesiastes 3:1~15. Those Words reminded me of what I have been going thru recently.   A Season of Wandering Aimlessly   This was the time when I was working during my 1st year in the company. It was the year where the outbreak of the pandemic began. The time where lockdown was uncommon and new to us,  2020 . During my 1st year of working, I didn't put much thought into my future. People would usually think questions such as "Where should I go after 2 years?", "When should I get a girlfriend?", "How much salary should I earn to achieve my goal/dreams?", "Do I like my job?", "When should I buy a house?", etc. Those questions rarely cross my mind. I did my job like how a normal employee would do and perform my task as instructed by my superior. If someone were to ask me, "What do I want to achieve in my work?". My answer is sim...

After graduating from high school, Z spent his time serving in a Christian ministry for about two months. It was supposed to be three months thing but Z took a break in between. At first, his initial thought was to serve for about a month because Z never planned to serve at all. During the decision-making process, Z kinda bargains with God...? In his mind, Z was like "God, I will only serve for one month and that's it. Nothing more nothing less." That's what Z initially thought la. Serving in the ministry was not an easy task and sometimes it can be quite mentally challenging especially when it comes to certain areas of work. The 18-year-old Z doesn't want to go thru the struggles and just wanted to stay in his comfort zone like a baby. That's the main reason why Z didn't plan to join in the first place.     However, God has a different plan for Z. When the serving period begins, Z joined with an unwilling heart and the thoughts of hoping this "one mo...