The Life of Someone

Recently I just got to know that my parents are sick and was COVID positive. They only got themselves tested when I am already back. Why am I frustrated and angry? Is not because I need to take care of them. I was furious because they did not do their part as they SHOULD HAVE BEEN. To be honest, I don't mind you guys being complacent. You don't want to wear mask or sanitize your hand. I don't care. But the moment you felt sick and you did not do your self test. That's the worst that a person can do. Seriously?! If you know you are sick, please do self test to make sure that you are COVID negative la. Is it that hard? Have you ever thought how would others feel if they got infected because of YOU?! Let me list down what are the effects you are bringing: Their health deteriorate They have to worry whether they will be affecting others who were close contact with them They have to cancel all their plans When my younger brother was the next person to fall sick. I told him ...

Recently, when I was going back home after playing badminton. Some memories during my time at university suddenly flash thru. Remembering there was a time when I changed about 4 cliques in 5 semesters. Remembering there was a time when being in the dragon boat community felt much better than being in Christian Fellowship (CF). Recalling there was a time I wondered between 2 churches after I left the church I grew up in and struggled to settle down. Why did it happen? What was the similarity? What was I looking for? After pondering for a moment, it is just a simple answer. I was finding a sense of belonging. I find it ironic that I did not realize why I did it. Those actions seem so natural. Yet I never question myself. Now, I know the answer. Finding a sense of belonging led me to where I am right now. Why do I long for a sense of belonging? Maybe it is because of my past experience. The past experience that sometimes haunts me. When I was 12, a young boy was just about to take th...

  When I decided to shift careers, everything began. Identifying what I want to achieve as I venture into programming. I first believed this journey would focus simply on my desire to switch careers. God, however, has different plans for me.        When the journey began, I also spent some time briefly joining an online tech community. In several of the online gatherings, I met a variety of individuals. Some individuals have only recently begun learning programming, those who are interested in doing so, those who are switching careers, etc. During the first few meetings, God prompted me to befriend one of the participants in the online tech community for who knows what purpose or reasons. Sean is his name. I fought with the prompting for around a week after it occurred as I could not make sense of it.  "Why was that a thought I struggled with?"        First of all, I have no idea who he is. He appears to be living in Selangor/KL. The onl...

The Problem: Recently I noticed that I have another personal problem. On many occasions, I don't know how I should react or use too much to think about how I should respond. How did I notice this? I realized this when I started moving to PJ and working in KL. The sudden change in dynamic (increase in social interaction and getting to know new friends) kinda throw me off a little due to my lack of social interaction for the past 6 months. In the Past: Back then, when I was in university, this wasn't a big issue. Maybe because I'm used to constantly interacting with people due to being active in clubs and societies. The assumption: Now that I think about it. The first assumption that comes to mind is my transition to a new role/job. Before I started working as a front-end web developer. I was working as a mechanical engineer. My day-to-day work involves interacting with clients, contractors, and suppliers. So, having to interact with new parties was very common. However, when...

I have always been a timid person. On the outside, I may look like a courageous person who would dare to take the risk and try new things. However, if you take a closer look inside. I am afraid to show my vulnerability and my weakness. Afraid to show those bad things that I'm going thru. Afraid people would view me differently after knowing my weaknesses. This leads me to constantly hide my past and my thoughts.      I would always try to avoid giving too much information about myself, especially my past. It always feels a little safer knowing that people do not know the other side of me. At first, I thought I would be able to hide it maybe forever or only reveal it to individuals who are close to my heart.      However, God has other plans for me. Last year, I started to get to know a new friend and his group of friends. When we were getting to know each other and had some conversations. In the beginning, I was trying not to reveal too much info regarding ...

It's been a while since the last time I wrote my blog. Recently I have been quite busy. Sometimes with work but mainly is because I'm currently trying to find a new job. You might be thinking. Why the heck are you job hunting when you just started your new role? The main reason for leaving is because the place that I am working at is not stable.     The sense of uncertainty causes me to consider taking the next logical step (to find a new job and a stable career). Since I am going to do it soon. So, might as well just do it now. Plus, the longing of wanting to move to KL is getting stronger. It fuels my motivation. However, my anxiety keeps on creeping into my mind causing me to overthink.      Two weeks ago, my CG leader and some members came to Malacca to visit me. I was surprised just by the fact that they came to see me. We had a good time chatting and hanging out. The next day, my mind: "f**k, I want to go KL so badly. I want to get to meet up with my ...

Not sure why but I felt that I need to left some notes here. Something that can remind the future me what needs to be done. Work should not be my everything. Always remember to spend more time with friends and family. To love God with all my strength, with all my hear and with all my soul. Always remember what God has done for me and give thanks to Him. Learning to love others is always challenging. There are no easy ways but there is always a loving way. Learn to talk less and listen more. Sometimes it helps to reduce conflicts. Always learn to understand others from a different perspective. I might not get them at first and it doesn't hurt to take a bit more time to think it through. Conflict does not solve any problems. You and I both know we learned the hard way. Spend some time for yourself. Sometimes it helps to prevent you from burning out. When in doubt, trust God more. Learn to stay connected with people that you care. It doesn't take that much time to send a text and ...

Last Friday, me and my friends have the opportunity to travel to KL. Vic came to my place to pick me up. We departed from Melaka to KL right after work. Now that I think about it. I would say it has been about almost two years since my last travel before the pandemic.    Before the trip, I sort of imagined how it would be like to meet up with my university CF friends, meet up with Sean, and how the entire flow would look like, etc. This reminds me of how I had taken physical gatherings for granted. Now every physical gathering just seems so precious.     When we arrived at KL, we went to  LI Restaurant for dinner. I think it is a western restaurant. The service was good and the food was not bad though a little pricey. I kinda like the atmosphere. Not too crowded and not too noisy. After our dinner, we went to a bubble milk tea shop to meet up with our friends for a chit-chat session. I stayed at Vic's place for the night as our check-in for the homestay is ...

What's on my mind? There are some things that I'm looking forward to. Not sure how I should describe my feeling. One thing that I do know is that I can't wait for it to take place. Here is a list of the main events that I'm looking forward to. Getting to meet a friend from KL in person Meeting the CG members that I recently got to know Moving to KL Besides that, there are also some other events that I'm looking forward to. But I don't think they will take place soon. As those things require more time and are kinda unpredictable. Reaching stability in my current job Settle down in a church and CG Finding a girlfriend Deep down, I desire all of it can occur as soon as possible. However, I know God is in control and, He has His plan for me. I need to continue to trust Him and believe He knows what is best for me. Sometimes the wait can be a bit long, especially for an impatient potato like me. It seems I still ...

Before making the decision A week before handing in my resignation letter, I got a call from an acquaintance telling me that they would offer me a job as a *secret*. Before that, it started off when he messaged me asking whether am I available for a short call. At first, I didn't know why he asked. But some part of me was able to tell why he wanted to call. The thoughts got my heart racing as I didn't expect his call at all. After the call, I informed him that I needed some time to think about it. I was kinda excited and also scared at the same time. I told myself if I'm going to take this step. It is gonna be another jump into the unknown. However, some part of me is eager to take this chance. After work, I consulted with my parents during dinner time. They were really supportive about it. A few days later, I informed him that I'm interested to take up the offer. Gone thru the ...